One Step At A Time

I’m not sure if posting a few bits about my health (weight) goals is going to hold anyone’s attention. I’m not the perky, chatty person on Ytube that loses weight all the time, gets free products to review, and has an interesting enough life that people want to listen to them all the time.

But perhaps there are other mundane people out there who might benefit from some of the helpful things I have and will come across. (and maybe the slight accountability from the few people out there who will read this will help me keep going to reach my health goal) So here goes….

I’m obese. Currently I’m borderline morbidly-obese for my height. I didn’t have a life altering event that caused my current health (I say “health” because, let’s face it, being obese causes all sorts of problems I’m praying will go away when I’m lighter). I’ve never been a healthy weight and don’t actually know what I’m supposed to look like (Hey! Something to look forward to!).

I didn’t learn about health, nutrition, exercise...anything like that growing up. I was the fat kid teachers and kids would laugh at or shun. My childhood took place in a dysfunctional family, and food was a part of the weirdness. There was frequent take out or eating out. There were lots of normal foods only I wasn’t allowed to eat (no allergies). If I didn’t clean the plate I got into trouble. If I felt sick or full and didn’t finish it, or got sick, I got into trouble. If I liked it (even apples), it disappeared. I had strange cravings growing up (I now believe it was malnutrition...not allowed to drink milk, etc…). It was not a time to try new things. It was just a time to watch the calendar until I could leave.

Then I came to a time of my life when I couldn’t afford much food. I made a lot of bad decisions then, and couldn’t find anyone for advice, but at least I was free. My job shift conflicted with the weekly fresh produce giveaway at the local helping place (not a shelter but they did help me – don’t slam the homeless y’all you never know what people have been through). I think the funniest part to date of my health journey is when I was dropping weight so fast I could barely keep my clothes on. The clothes thing wasn’t the funny bit; I couldn’t afford clothes or much food then, I walked/rode a bike everywhere, and my job was VERY physical, hence the rapid weight loss. The funny part was that my coworkers were acting as if I was doing something wrong or was getting sick (“Gosh Hermit, what is going on with you?”). I never felt better!

Fast forward many years to now. I’ve been learning so much and trying so much. My husband has been so wonderful to me. I now know how to cook and bake. I am learning about nutrition, portion sizes, and exercise. I still struggle with having a good relationship with food, now that I’m free to cook and try things, despite my husband’s mostly good influence. I have been learning more about foods and my body, like which foods affect me poorly, and which foods seem to help. I’m also working on replacing mood eating with constructive activities. No, I don’t drink soda or eat much junk food. I cook nearly every day. I’m also vegetarian.

I think my main problem, though, is exercise. My jobs have become increasingly sedentary. I am not comfortable biking anymore, and don’t want to walk outside alone. I used to hike with my husband and would look forward to them, hoping for more frequent walks and hikes. But with the increase in crime, and the lockdown stuff, that has gone away completely. I really, really miss hiking and our photo safaris.

Before the lockdown, I did almost cripple myself following the wrong workout-at-home videos (they were free on Ytube). Yes my sweat was my fat crying, but I was damaging my back. It was expensive (at least to me it was) and I worried that I’d never be able to function again (hurt my back severely). But thank God I got better, and found out from a chiropractor a problem with my back that I was born with (and had no idea about). As I was healing and despairing of ever losing weight, I believe God led me to some workout videos that work for me. They are called Walk at Home. They used to be called Leslie Sansone something or other. She started them; actually just got together with a group at her church, which I think is a pretty neat story. Anyways, there are free videos online, and she has a website where you can pretty inexpensively purchase a few “dvds” (or put it on your phone/computer). I think there’s a daily App thing too (more expensive) but I’m not that hardcore.

What I like about these videos is that: 1) There’s no risk of crippling myself again 2) It seems to be making some sort of a difference, which is a big deal for me 3) I can workout at home, in private, in my second floor apartment (where I can’t use equipment like a treadmill) 4) Although some parts of the videos might get old, at least these people really workout and sweat, and they seem to try to do the workout in one take. 5) The workouts are incremental, divided up into 15 minute “miles” (measured by the beat of the music), which really works well for me because I’m so task and goal oriented. You can also increase or decrease the intensity of your own workout very easily, as well as take breaks according to your goals and fitness level.

The last thing I wanted to say in this introduction of my health journey is my current goal. I am currently borderline morbidly-obese. I am determined to lose about 100 lbs to be in the healthy weight category. I came across several articles that mentioned 150 minutes per week of exercise as being a good minimum for a healthy person. Therefore, it is my goal to reach and exceed 150 minutes, or over 10 Leslie Sansone miles, each week. Additionally, I will continue to work on portions and nutrition. I had stopped weighing myself because it was depressing, but I think it is necessary to keep myself accountable. Weight is a faster indicator than body measurements. I don’t want another week to go by where I gain weight. I’m tired of all of the negative impacts my health has on my life and relationships. It’s constantly on my mind, every single day. Every day is a new opportunity. One step at a time.

Lamentations 3.22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.”